This is being discussed over at the islam_ahmadiyya reddit forum. This damning Al-Fazl article was being circulated in Lajna group pertaining to domestic violence last month. It basically tells Ahmadi women to not report domestic violence to the police, instead, they want the Jamaat to step in operate as a state within a state. The article has also been archived herein.
Under the section “First step to breaking homes (calling the police),” the following is emphasized:
– It is true that domestic violence is an evil.
– It should be reported to the Nizaam.
– Calling the police is dangerous and leads to broken homes.
– Such acts (bypassing Nizaam and going to police) can also lead to expulsion from Jamaat.
– Patience in such cases can save homes.
It ends by saying, “although some would disagree with this analysis, it is the bitter truth.”
I am sure the intention of the writer is good and they do sincerely want marriages to work and police not to be involved at every petty issue as a knee-jerk reflex. Such impulsivity has indeed led to breaking homes. BUT whereas the intent might be right, speaking in general terms, this is bad advise.
Discouraging victims to go to law enforcement and presenting the alternate as a happy marriage.
“Threatening” the victim with excommunication.
The article translated via google
Khaksar has long enjoyed the privilege of serving as National Secretary for Public Affairs. In the meantime, the party has had the opportunity to consider the causes of the growing domestic disputes in Australia. In this article, I have tried to summarize the causes and possible solutions to these problems. The purpose of this article is not to support or discourage any class, but only to benefit someone in this way. Cases, resulting in divorce and divorce. The Qur’an and Hadith related to family life. Definitely turning away from the teachings of the Holy Messiah (on whom be peace) and the teachings of the successive caliphs is the most important and fundamental reason. But because of the difficulties, I will give you only a few worldly facts and reasons as an example.
(CENTRELINK PAYMENTS) Social Security Allowance
The cause of disputes in some households is the social security allowance received from the government. This issue usually starts when the women want to take their own and children’s allowance quota and spend it voluntarily and cover all the household expenses. The responsibility is placed on the head of the household. This is especially bitter when women spend Centrelink Payments on their own instead of household expenses. Hazrat Khalifatul Masih IV’s guidance and instruction on this subject is very clear. He said
: He will have his own income which he spends as he pleases. “
If the wife obeys Anwar’s advice and spends some of the gross allowance with the consent and consent of the husband, then the cause of the dispute may be eliminated and if the head of the household instead of relying on social security for household expenses. Paying regular taxes is a blessing in disguise. How can families who do not follow the advice of the government follow piety and Islamic teachings?
Unsatisfactory marriages and immigration issues
Most Ahmadi boys migrate to Australia on visit visas or student visas for the purpose of acquiring Australian citizenship. There are two options in the minds of these visitors, either to get a Protection Visa or to marry an Australian citizen girl and make their dream come true. For this purpose, there is a lot of pressure and hope from the parents living abroad. Since it may take some time to decide on the application for protection visa, it is not advisable to call the boy in a hurry. We get into a relationship, but when we get PR, because we are not in a relationship, our mutual love turns to sugar. Boys who are blind to the desire for PR at the time of marriage, later on they start seeing the flaws in the girl and her family. The boy ‘ s relatives also give the idea that if divorce or divorce takes place then another relative of ours will come to Australia on Spouse Visa.There is also the aspect that when a boy comes to Australia on a spouse visa after marriage, despite the fact that the The boy is highly educated and holds a high position in his country, he has to stay at the house of the girl’s parents when he comes to Australia. It takes time to adapt to the values and practices of the society and to find a job. Begum, mother-in-law, father-in-law and other relatives repeatedly ask about getting a new curry, in which case he becomes depressed and frustrated. And so the advice of the wife and father-in-law seems to mock him. Sometimes they even start complaining to friends and relatives. Such situations help to provoke the boy ‘ s thoughts and he waits for his PR to avenge the attitude of the girl and as soon as he gets PR. The idea of taking revenge on the father-in-law comes to his mind. The turn comes to divorce. Sometimes the situation reaches this stage even before PRThey go and either the girl files for divorce or the boy divorces after submitting the application for Protection Visa.
Unfortunately, the majority of our youth today are devoid of Islamic values, Qur’anic teachings, the teachings of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and the teachings on the family life of the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) ). If the girl and her parents show a little bit of common sense and wait for the boy to get a job in his field of education, then the life of my wife can become a paradise.Eventually, every visitor to Australia becomes socially and economically settled. In some homes, in the beginning, when a boy and a girl are living alone, they have Eid day and night, except when the boy’s parents or a sister. If the siblings come to Australia and live with them, the girl may find it difficult to stay with them, or the boy may expect a little too much from the girl to serve his parents. Another sad fact is that some of our women play a very negative role in these situations. The riots in the houses Carries fuel and matches to spread. After the meetings or in private invitations, the daughters-in-law, against the mother-in-law, and the mother-in-law, against the daughters-in-law, heat up the market of propaganda and backbiting.Girls are taught that it is not your duty to serve mother-in-law, cook their food etc. and take care of them in case of sickness. The service of the people and humanity is considered a great crime by those who give smoky speeches on humanity. In some cases, the girl, on the other hand, does not spare any effort in the service of her husband and her parents, but the mother-in-law, the mother-in-law, unnecessarily interferes in the affairs of the wife. , criticizes the usual things, taunts and gives excessive advice. Wives cause quarrels and distance. Boy if wife favor If he does, his parents are angry and if he thinks of his parents, then there is a possibility of breaking up the house.If the girl is patient for a few years, she can easily rule the house and her husband and parents can begin to love and respect her. But since unfortunately the parties do not adhere to Islamic values and teachings, one possible solution to the issue is that mother-in-law and father-in-law should not live in the same house with daughter-in-law and son. -in-law without their consent.
Refer to the third party on family differences
One of the reasons for high-level disputes is that husbands and wives take their problems and differences to the third party instead of resolving them by mutual understanding. This defect is more common in women whose daily routine and complaints to the mother are regularly reported. Sisters and friends are approached and their advice is followed, which makes the situation worse day by day. The third party is more interested in acquiring rights, defeating and satisfying personal ego than saving the relationship. Instead of trying to recover, they wallow in their sadness and thus, experience more failure. Husbands and wives should try to resolve their differences by sitting together under one roof. When the third party is involved, sometimes he advises the girl that you also have rights. What do you lack? Leave home immediately,
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: Get information about the girl’s habits before you get married. Some women have habits that some men do not tolerate. But they are not isolated from the fear of losing their children, the division of property and the payment of child and mother’s expenses for sixteen years. It is also a bitter truth that due to religious hatred and oppression, many families migrate to Pakistan who are neither adorned with the adornment of knowledge nor are they benefited from the beautiful teaching and manners of Islam in family matters. Even after coming here, they are more inclined towards income instead of getting education. Their family backgrounds include hand-wringing and gossiping as a habit.Fed up with such atrocities, the girls seek help from the Jamaat and the Jamaat tries to rectify the situation but the problem is that The girl does not stop talking to her husband and the boy and his parents do not change their ignorant habits and it is the turn of the police and the court. Women’s rights and welfare agencies show women the way to segregation with full force under the guise of rights. It would not be wrong to say that national institutions and laws are responsible for breaking up homes and depriving children of their fathers.
The first step towards breaking down the house
(calling the police)
It is true that raising one’s hand and slapping one’s wife is a very shameful and un-Islamic act and one who does so should complain to the Jamaat system. But calling the police without giving the party system a chance to rectify the routine recurrence is so dangerous that it can never be reversed and often the result is permanent separation and at the same time the child is forever deprived of parental affection and training. Are going Unfortunately, some members of the congregation also advise women to call the police. In addition, national laws and educational institutions encourage women to say that if their husbands speak angrily, they may interfere with your privacy or against your will. If you demand marital rights, you should contact the police immediately. It is a pity that some corrupt women in the congregation also teach other women this strip that you need to suppress your husband, you do not need his money. The government is responsible for providing food, shelter, education and treatment for you and your children. . A call to your police will teach your husband a lesson that he will remember for a lifetime. You can create a criminal record by calling the police only once and accusing your husband of Domestic Violence and Common Assaul. When matters go to the court and police level for rectification, the party system is also unable to assist due to national laws. The results for a woman are very different from the green garden that is shown to her by corrupt people. The government keeps them in the Shelter House for only a few days and evicts them, saying that now you can arrange your own accommodation and food. Centrelink offers a modest lounge that makes living difficult while spending time with my mother in a luxurious house, car, shopping, make-up and partying. Had toIs. Lawyers and court fees are unbearable. Buses have to be used for treatment and shopping. Falling forever from the heart and eyes of the husband. Feelings of deprivation, depression and mental illness become part of life. In the cycle of ruining the husband’s life, ignoring the consequences at the behest of the police and lawyers, her own husband is charged with heinous charges like adultery in addition to criminal charges, which may later lead to the expulsion of the woman from the party. system. If only a few years had passed patiently, the whole life could have ruled the house. In addition to the charges, There are heinous allegations like adultery which can later lead to expulsion of the woman from the party system. If only a few years had passed patiently, the whole life could have ruled the house. In addition to the charges, there are heinous allegations like adultery which can later lead to expulsion of the woman from the party system. If only a few years had passed patiently, the whole life could have ruled the house.
While some may find our analysis very unpleasant, these are the bitter realities that can be observed in everyday family disputes.
Unnecessary interest in a job or study
Sometimes the cause of quarrels in the home is the stubbornness of the women to work unnecessarily. I start quarreling and resentment with my husband and the devil who is happiest with my wife’s quarrels whispers oppression in the heart of the woman and this oppression is expressed by the men who work with her Those who claim to be partners and merely good friends destroy their house. Anwar was once asked during a recent meeting with Hazrat Khalifatul Masih V, Eid-ul-Fitr, what should women who want to work or study and have children do? In response to this question, the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The first responsibility is to raise children and if they are starving. Do something Get to work on time and come back straight and raise the kids.There must be such courage. If you’re just working to make money, then quit your job. If you are in a profession such as a medical doctor, then the service to humanity is fine. Then adjust yourself so that you can give time to the children. In any case, the real job of a woman is to educate and properly educate her children. Let the children benefit from what they know. The rest, if there is compulsion, is another matter. Still, give your children as much time as possible. Let the children benefit from what they know. The rest, if there is compulsion, is another matter. Still, give your children as much time as possible. Let the children benefit from what they know.The rest, if there is compulsion, is another matter. Still, give your children as much time as possible. ”
Sometimes women face certain physical and psychological problems at a certain age. In addition, giving up certain psychiatric medications can have a negative effect on the mood of both men and women. Unfortunately, in most households, ignorance of these medical causes can lead to domestic strife. Such fights can be avoided if one is aware of it. In Australia, doctors prescribe medication for every second person diagnosed with depression and anxiety.To increase the sales of their drugs, large companies require the use of such drugs, although their use can lead to intoxication and weakness of the patient, and as soon as the patient stops using it, his mood, anger, irritability and irritability increase. Conflicts escalate to dangerous levels, but ignorance of these effects can lead to resentment and resentment between husband and wife. First of all, avoid using such drugs as much as possible Otherwise, it is important for the patient and his family to be aware of the effects of these drugs and their use. Similarly, hormonal imbalances in women at certain age and due to certain conditions increase their anger and depression.Husbands and their families should understand this condition and treat their wives more kindly, so that in response to this condition, they may add fuel to the fire by fighting. For example, women have the same medical reasons However, in response to this situation, it is necessary to add fuel to the fire and work on the burning issue. For example, women have the same medical reasons However, in response to this situation, it is necessary to add fuel to the fire and work on the burning issue. For example, women have the same medical reasons
Severe Postnatal Depression
Etc. are common. Understanding these situations, one should show understanding, strategy and good behavior, because in such diseases, the behavior of women is not intentional, they are innocent. Pharmaceutical companies usually shine as a mafia.
Inactivity of the training department
One of the main reasons for the increase in family disputes is the inactivity of national and local correctional committees in the last six years in the party Australia. Hazrat Anwar Eid-ul-Allah Bansara-ul-Aziz during his meeting with the National Executive of Majlis-e-Ansarullah Australia had urged to pay special attention to this. Until we consider the causes of the problems and their solutions, how will they be reduced and how will the correction be possible? If a Correctional Committee is established and its regular meetings are held in accordance with the rules, then the duties of the committee include resolving family disputes and their prevention.Reconciliation or mediation by mutual consent and the parties are obtained through advice in the light of the teachings of Islam Ahmadiyyat. Rules and regulations of Tehreek-e-Jadeed The rules and procedures of the Correctional Committee are detailed in Rules 340 to 345 of the President of Anjuman Ahmadiyya.
Divorce or division of property upon death of husband
Some people have a disease in their heart due to worldly greed. They are reluctant to come to the party for a decision on the issue of division of property because they know that if the decision is made according to Islamic law, they will be at a disadvantage. For example, in case of separation or death of the husband, according to the laws of the land, most of the women get half of the property and other heirs are deprived of their rights. Are If they take their rights according to Islamic law, then it is good for them in this world and in the hereafter, otherwise they are going against the law of Allah.Believers and Muslim men and women should seek the pleasure of God and His Messenger by distributing inheritance on such occasions in accordance with Islamic law of inheritance, by following which many problems and hatreds can be avoided. Hazrat Khalifatul Masih IV
I have made a brief comparison of the causes of family disputes with the utmost sincerity and impartiality based on my own understanding and experience and have given the most appropriate solution to them. At the end of this article, I would like to offer some advice to Hazrat Syeda Nusrat Jahan Begum Sahiba (Hazrat Aman Jan). Can Hazrat Aman Jan used to say that “first the wife becomes a slave then the mother becomes a slave”. When Sahibzadi Fauzia Shamim Sahiba asked Nawab Mubarak Begum Sahiba to explain it, she said
: It’s just a matter of harmony between the two, with the first step being taken by the wife. “
Hazrat Aman Jan advised her daughter Hazrat Syeda Nawab Mubarak Begum Sahiba at the time of their marriage to do the following
: The husband does not see but God sees and the matter finally appears and loses the dignity of the woman.
If something goes wrong against their will, never hide it. To put it bluntly, there is honor in it, and in disguise there is dishonor and insignificance.
Never speak in their anger. I am angry with you or a servant or a child and you know that they are not right when they do not speak. A woman who argues with a man in anger loses her dignity. If you say something harsh in anger, it will cause a lot of humiliation.
Their loved ones Get to know the children of loved ones. Don’t think of anyone’s evil, even if someone does evil to you. You want the best for everyone in your heart and do not repay evil with deeds, then God will always be good to you.
Don’t talk about Mickey in-laws and don’t talk about father-in-law in Mickey. It will disappear from your heart, but the knot will fall in the hearts of the elders.
Similarly, Hazrat Nawab Mubarak Begum used to advise girls before marriage:
Girls should pray from childhood that Allah may make my destiny good.
There should be no false ego in my wife’s relationship. If it is your fault, then persuade the wife, there is no disrespect in it.
Never fight and threaten to leave home. If a man gets angry and says, “Go away,” then how disrespectful it is to go and sit in Mecca, when God does not really want to go. Otherwise, such a thing is disrespectful instead of worthwhile.
The Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) said:
“When a girl marries, she has two keys in her hand. One door of peace and one door of war she can open any door she wants. Blessed are the women who opened the door of peace.
Khaksar is convinced that if only the above advice is followed, there can be an unusual reduction in family disputes. May every Ahmadi family become the cradle of peace and prosperity. (Amen)
(Mohammad Amjad Khan – Representative of Al-Fadl Australia)
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